So those who know me know that I was never one to believe in all the love at first sight and true love stuff. Rather I thought love at first sight to merely be lust and nothing more. True love? I would have told you to give me a break. That is just lying to yourself day in and day out. So what if I was cynical, that was the truth as I saw it. Marriage to me was just finding that one person you wanted to annoy for the rest of your life, being stuck with them and finding whatever happiness you could find. Forget romance, that wasn’t going to happen. Just a fairytale to make women desire what they cannot find. Then I met Dan. I know that sounds so terribly cliche and maybe it is, but it’s the honest truth. Never in my life have I just been able to be myself around someone like him and not worry about making them angry or not want to be with me. Everyday I find myself slipping more and more in love with him when I didn’t know I could fall any deeper in love. Those are really some of the simplest words, I love you, but the emotions behind them are so much more than that. This feeling I truly hope everyone gets a chance to feel, to be a part of, because it is the most wonderful, heavenly feeling in the world. Unfortunately we live about 3 and half hours away and it’s killing me to be so far away from him. I seem like the only time I am myself and happy is when I’m with him, our arms wrapped around each other. So I know what some people are thinking, that this is just lust, but it honestly isn’t. I love just talking with him or even just sitting around doing really nothing. I know there will be people to say that I don’t deserve him, that he deserves better and they might be right. I’ve told him this, that he’s getting not just me, but two children as well. Believe it or not, but he’s actually alright with that. I still get nervous that I’m going to somehow mess this up or he’s going to find someone better, but he tries to reassure me that I cannot mess it up. I think I will always be nervous that I will. As for him, well he has nothing to fear. I’ll always be his. So my sweet Dan, just in case your still nervous about messing up this relationship, let me tell you you cannot. To me, you are perfect and everything I have ever wished for in a man. I would say I couldn’t possibly love you any more than I do, but that would be a lie. I love you more and more each day and I cannot tell you how much I love you. Every word I try just falls short. I know I go off on tangents about it, but it’s just my way of trying to find a way to describe how I feel. I love you Dan and I’ll always be your Shelley.
Wireless
October 12, 2008 at 1:03 am (Duh Moments)
I was having a problem with the wireless thingie not working on the laptop, so I sent an email to the tech person to see if it was something I was missing or whatever. They write back that it might sound silly, but to see if the little (i) was blue. This sounded really silly, I mean I had checked everything else I could think of, but sure enough, it wasn’t on. I didn’t even realize I could just touch it and have it turn on! One of the children must have touched it and I didn’t even think of it… I guess I really should have read the manual on that one.
Boys
October 12, 2008 at 12:54 am (Words of Wisdom from Children)
My daughter said something interesting today. She looked up at me and said that ‘Some boys just don’t understand girls’. I looked at her for a moment and laughed. She’s completely right. Some boys just don’t get it. Now, I think she meant about her one friend Christopher just not understanding how girls like to play, but it means a whole different thing to me as an adult.
Experimentation
October 11, 2008 at 6:49 am (Daily life)
So I have decided to have an experiment with my children. I know, I’m awful, but honestly parenting is going from one experiment to another to find out which works. I took away the cartoons. Now, before I get a lot of Bad Shelley, I don’t mean completely. I just mean the constant fighting about Dora, Diego, Little Einsteins, Yo Gabba Gabba, Pink Panther and the Good Night Show. I was essentially spending my day going from one fight to another about what cartoon to put on and it was literally all day wall to wall cartoons! So you figure from about 7:30ish in the morning to at least 8 at night I spent doing this. It’s a distraction from Shannon’s school work and she goes out to play as soon as she’s done anyway. I usually finish up what I have to and take Nicky outside too. Not to mention when the cartoon is on, they don’t watch it! So, I’m going to see how it goes without it. They have tons of movies, though right now Little Nicky seems to be stuck on either Thomas or Open Season and let me tell you there is only so many times you can either hear George Carlin narrate or hear the same jokes over and over again before your ready to hide the movies on him… I have been doing the radio in the mornings and the lessons seem to be going a bit smoother and Nicky even goes into his room. Though today was just one of those special I need duct tape days. Thankfully I have the most wonderful man in the world to help calm me down, though he didn’t even know it. He just happened to send me an email at just the right time… the kids were wrestling and had spilled some kool aid on the carpet and of course it was red. This was right when I was just about to hang up the phone with Shannon’s cyber school teacher to schedule her first verbal testing. Why children decide to act up when your on the phone, God only knows, but apparently to them it’s a really good time. And of course it had to be after all day of pulling teeth with Shannon to get her lesson done and trying to keep more eyes than I have on Nicky while he gets into everything. Thankyou Dan and not only do I thank you, the children thank you as well for calming me down and not duct taping them to a chair. I love you, with all that I am.
Shannon also got a new pet. I introduced Kenny the hamster to our family. So now we have Curly and Cartman the hermit crabs, Kenny and quite a few fish all of which Shannon has named, but I cannot keep straight. She even has the fish trained to nibble at her fingers when she places them on the water. I have to hand it to her, she actually takes really good care of her animals, but she’s a bit like Elmira… especially with Kenny. That poor hamster… thankfully he hasn’t bit her yet.
For a start..
October 8, 2008 at 5:01 am (Daily life)
I honestly have no idea where I wish to go with this and I guess it will eventually just take on a nature of it’s own, as does most things I suppose. First a bit about me I suppose. I’m a 28 year old mother of two, Shannon (5) and Nicholas(2). They take up a lot of my time and patience, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We have our days as a family… some are the ah, isn’t that just precious moments, and other are, well, let’s just say they are lucky I don’t seriously duct tape them down to a chair. I have learned though with dealing with them a sense of humor will go a long way in keeping your hair on your head and not on the floor. I work full time at nights and I take care of them during the day. I decided to cyber school my daughter, which before that I was homeschooling, so we sit down in the mornings and make reasonable attempts not to have her running to her room yelling that nobody understands her and get what work we can done. It usually goes well, but then there is usually Nicky to keep my on my toes with him getting into just about everything imaginable. You know, when your holding your new infant in your hands admiring how much like a cherub they look to you even if they have hair on the tops of their ears you never really think about all the damage they can do when you turn your back to pour some milk into a sippy…
I guess the next thing to talk about would be that I’m finishing on divorcing their father. He’s something special that only a mother could love and his mother told me not to marry him. Chalk something else up to being too stubborn for my own good. Though, the upside to that is I have met the most wonderful person in the world I do believe. Everything I have ever wanted in a man and more is all wrapped up in him. Dan, I love you. I know those words don’t really tell you just how much you have touched me, how deeply I care for you, and how much I enjoy just being with you, but for now they will have to work. I’m still working on another word, but they all fall short. Truthfully you are the one that gave me the courage to do something like this and to believe in myself. I could go on for a long time and not run out of wonderful things to say about you, but I think I will save that for later. Thank you though, for everything.
So, about me I suppose… I’m a southern woman living in the north and as the weather is turning colder, I find myself wishing I could fly south every winter. Yes, I still have my accent, but it’s not as heavy as it once was. My mind loves going off on tangents, hence the name of this site, so heaven help all of you trying to understand this. I love to read, draw, explore new places, get lost and see what I might find, walk in the woods, watch movies, crochet, embroidery, and I suppose crafts in general. I really don’t prefer the city and would love to move out to the country. I suppose there has to be more, but none that I’m thinking of right now. My hope is to keep updating this with anything my mind goes off on a tangent about, but we all know about the best laid plans, so here goes nothing.
